Friday, October 5, 2012

1 Week on Body by Vi check in...

Wt: 193.6 (-1 lb)

Waist:  39 (-2 inches)

Chest:  41 (no change)

Hips:  43 (-1 inch)


That is a total of 3 inches gone in one week!! Like I said before, I could care less what the scale said. I feel so good on this stuff that all of this is just bonus. :)


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Day 4

So far, so great!!!

My lack of posts can only prove that I am feeling great!! I have a TON of energy. Yesterday alone I ran 1 mile in the morning, hiked 2 miles in the afternoon (with a full pack), and still had energy enough to do an hour of Jiu Jitsu last night. That is just on top of my regular day of homeschooling, cleaning and running errands!!

I am waking up with SO much energy... and better yet... I am enjoying my evenings with the family with no nausea or headaches!! I haven't' felt this good in forever. As for my weight... I'm waiting for Friday to roll around so I can see what a whole week on Vi can do. To be honest.. I could care less what the scale says. Feeling this good is worth the money.

The shakes themselves are delicious!! My favorite so far is called the Butterfinger.

Butterfinger

12 oz Almond Milk
2 scoops Body by Vi shake powder
2 tablespoons sugar-free-fat-free Jello Butterscotch pudding mix
1 tablespoon peanut butter
5 cubes of ice


This morning I had a peach one... yummy!

Needless to say, I am really enjoying my 90 day challenge.

<3

Friday, September 28, 2012

Today is the Day!!

I am bouncing all over the place today. I know the UPS man doesn't get to this side of town until the late afternoon... but I can't stop looking out the window! Today, I get my Body by Vi shakes! I am super excited to start mixing up some yummy pina colada shakes.... or their peanut butter cup recipe!

As promised I took out the scale this morning and weighed myself.... took my measurements (no sucking in) and a very unflattering picture (but aren't all 'before' pics?) . But... I feel very positive this morning. I know that my mind is in a different place then it has been the past year. I know that seeing this through will be my change. I have a ton of support from my family at home... as well as my Jiu Jitsu extended family that push me 3 times a week.

The picture is of me in an old pair of "skinny" jeans that I wore comfortably 2 years ago. My goal at the end of my 90 day challenge is to be wearing these puppies again.

So... as my children would say....  'feast your eyes' :

Day 1 

Wt: 194

Chest: 41 inches

Waist: 41 inches

Hips: 44 inches

(I don't feel comfortable putting the 'before' pic up just yet.... but I will keep it for the 30 day comparison) 


Thursday, September 27, 2012

Happy Anniversary Colorado!!

This weekend will mark 1 year of living in Colorado. I have to say that it is one of the best places we have ever lived. It may have to do with the timing too. The kids are old enough to join in on things like sports and music... so we are constantly running around and having fun. The weather is bearable... so far no 10 foot snow mounds or 110 degree days!

 My daughter and her dog in the Colorado River

Since we have been here we have done things like hiking... mountain climbing... mountain biking and running.  I could have lost a lot of weight this summer had I given up food! (or at least not eaten so much of it!)

Waterfalls on our hike!!

Living here you can't help but enjoy life... I am ready for this 90 day challenge... mentally and physically. Its time I quit messing around and get down to business. 7 years of dieting, losing and gaining and losing and gaining... thats enough!!! 

Yesterday was a clean eating day with lots of water. I also had Jiu Jitsu last night and got to roll with a great gal from Southern California. She made me work hard! I left class drenched in sweat.. with a little bit of a limp and a tear... but it was all good! 

My shakes from Body by Vi have shipped and I am expecting to start my challenge on Monday or Tuesday! I will take my before pics and measurements and post them then!



Its time that I step out from behind the camera!! 


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Hellllooooooo????

Is anyone still reading here??

Well, I wouldn't blame you if you found someone knew. I mean, come on, 6 months without a new post?? Yikes!!

I will tell you right now.. it's like nothing has happened in the last 6 months. (not really, a million things have happened... but way too much to write about today!) I have gained and lost the same 5 lbs over and over again... but am still in the 190's. I have stopped juicing out of laziness ... but have signed up with my daughters in Jiu Jitsu. We go three times a week and am slowly getting my body back into fight mode.

One of the biggest things going on... and the reason I started blogging again... is my new 90 day challenge!!!  I am starting on Body by Vi. A program where you drink 2 shakes a day. The shakes are super nutritious and not only help you lose weight, but also give you the nutrients your body needs to give you healthy skin, nails and hair!

I have 45 lbs to lose and I know that if I can give it my all, I can do it in 90 days.

If you want to try Body by Vi... or just want to learn more about it... go here and watch the video or order it for yourself!

I am waiting for my order to arrive... but be ready for Day 1 photos and measurements :)

Monday, April 16, 2012

Week 4 ....

I won't say that this week was a total loss... but I will say that my husband is a bad influence on me :)

This was his week off. I still juiced my breakfast, and for all those that have shown interest in it... it is totally worth it! But having a man in the house for lunch and dinner... well, I can't make a salad or grill up some veggies. Oh no, there has to be MEAT... and where there is meat, there are carbs. *sigh* So this week I stayed on track 1/3 of the time. Lunch and dinner was way more then it should have been.

Today, Hubby has headed back to work and I am detoxing once again. My cravings for bread and sugar are unbearable.. and yes, I have given in to them. Half a banana nut muffin and some small chocolate mints.

I am going back and forth in my head... "I'll start fresh tomorrow.... no, I should start NOW... but I've already ruined today, tomorrow I will be stronger.... I shouldn't wait or tomorrow will be harder" Yes, the battle in my head has gone on for hours now. When the weaker side was winning was when I ate the muffin and chocolates. When the stronger side was winning I managed to juice some delicious breakfast and a strawberry banana smoothie. Water has managed to completely disappear from my routine altogether.

I havent stepped on the scale, and I doubt I will,  for fear of seeing a gain. Tomorrow I am planning on taking a spin class in the morning to help burn the calories I've eaten today. :)

As for those that have asked what I am juicing:

Breakfast juice:

1 handful of parsley
1 handful of cilantro
1 cucumber
6 carrots
3 stalks of celery
1 apple
1 lemon

Yummy!!!

Afternoon snack (great for when your craving something sweet)

6 strawberries
1 frozen banana
1 juiced apple
1 tbsp chia seeds


(soak chia seeds in apple juice for 10 min. Then put everything into a blender and blend!)








Sunday, April 8, 2012

Week 2

Starting WT: 192.6
Todays WT:  190.8  (-1.8 lbs)

Ya... I think I found my grove. Mostly it is thanks to my new love of juicing.

 Today, being a holiday, I allowed myself to stray from my 'norm' and enjoy some of the treats from today. This included:  2 mini snickers, 2 carrot cake cupcakes and 1 piece of razzelberry pie

Knowing that this is a quarter of what I would have eaten if I wasn't on the right track makes me comfortable with what I ate. The crud I ate, however, is making me very uncomfortable. I am already paying for it... oy.

I am still working on my way of thinking. Knowing now that I CAN have something but not WANT it is making a huge difference.. but this week I will also be learning to finish my day and not look back on it.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in: forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense." Ralph Waldo Emerson

This week is done and I am happy with what I did and learned. Today was a beautiful family day and I will be fine with what I ate. Tomorrow is a new day and I will face it full on and with all my heart.


(a pic from todays Easter fun)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Lessons learned...

I can't say that my week was perfect. I can't say that it was a total loss either! The biggest turn around was watching the movie 'Hungry for Change'.   I sat in the dark and watched it before the rest of the house woke up. It hit home.

My new mantra is not... "I CAN'T eat that"... its "I CAN eat that, but I DON'T WANT TO!"

Trying thinking that the next time you see a piece of chocolate cake... or a pizza. Making that small change of can't to can.. but don't want to... makes a HUGE difference.

I am also doing a detox right now. I am juicing my breakfast and lunch. This morning I had an amazing glass of apple, celery, cucumber, parsley, lemon, and carrot juice. I know that in your head that sounds terrible... but it is a glass of heaven! Yesterday was my first day of detox... even fitting in a run in the afternoon when my Hubby got home. (which is very unusual, because I am usually too tired by then)

I did not hit my goals for last week.. but I do feel like I have made some big progress.

Next week... my goal is to stick to my juicing... run at least 3 days this week and for the challenge workout... I will be doing my Hubbys RushFit workout for 2 days.

In other news... my little girl ROCKS the soccer field!!


Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What is that horrible taste????

Oh ya... cookies.

I am having a terrible start to this challenge. Emotionally I am a mess.. which is carrying over to my food choices. My food choices are making my body feel 'blech'...so I am not working out or running. What a terrible circle of hell I'm in.

This morning, as I lay in my bed (squished by my 6 yr old so I couldn't get out of bed), I was thinking my normal thoughts of :


  • "Well, I've messed this week up... might as well give up until next week."
  • "I wonder how many cookies are left in the bag?"
  • "What is that awful taste in my mouth??... oh right, the cookies"
Then, something hit me. Today is Wednesday. I'm only 2 days into this week... I still have 5 days to do something good. 

So... I finally got up and poured myself a glass of water.  I opened my laptop and sat on the couch reading other blogs. Now, I feel ready to tackle this week... or at least this morning.  Lets do this one step at a time.



Monday, March 26, 2012

Week 1 of the Ready for Summer Challenge...

Mini Goal :

To lose 1 lb this week

To drink my water everyday

To workout 4 days this week

STARTING WIEGHT:

192.6

STARTING FAT %:

31.6

STARTING MEASUREMENTS:

waist: 39
chest: 41
hips: 44






Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Get Out of YOUR HEAD!

I can over think EVERYTHING.

I can take something simple and turn it into Mt. Everest. Everything from a look, a word or a smile to an action, a plan or a trip. I can make it what its not. This is one of the reasons I have an ulcer. I make everything stressful.

I didn't used to. I don't think.

Lets see if I can not over think this post....

Yesterday morning I ran 2.48 miles around my house. It had just snowed... not a lot... but enough to make the air cold and wet. My breath came out in little puffs. It was early and I had just woken up. My husband was home and getting ready to do his own workout. So I stripped my warm pi's off and pulled on the workout clothes. Added my hat, ear muffs, gloves and music. I took my first shocking breath, shut the door behind me and started with a slow jog.  My knees were freezing cold.. but I kept going. My average speed ended up being 10:48/mile. When I walked in my house.... I felt good.

This morning I stripped off my pi's again and put on the workout clothes before the kids were up. This time I pushed 'PLAY' and did a chest and back workout P90X style. Push ups and pull ups galore.  At the end of the workout.. Tony says.. "Get out of your head" ...

Man, did that knock me straight. I am WAY over thinking this weight loss stuff. I stress over what I'm going to eat hours before its time. I plan my workouts by the week.

So, this week I am going to get out of my head! I am going to do a workout every day. I am going to eat clean and drink my water. But I am not going to FOCUS on it EVERY SECOND of my day. This is not going to own me anymore. I will enjoy my day and what God has in store for me.


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Waddle On!

"No Need For Speed"

I AM A RUNNER because my runs have names. I do tempo runs and threshold runs and fartlek runs. I do long, slow runs and track workouts. My runs are defined, even if my abs are not.

I AM A RUNNER because my shoes are training equipment, not a fashion statement. The best shoe for me it the one that makes me a better runner. I choose the shoe that goes with my running mechanics, not my running outfit.

I AM A RUNNER because I don't have running outfits. I have technical shirts and shorts and socks. I have apparel that enhances the experience of running by allowing me to run comfortably. I can say "Coolmax" and "Gore-Tex" in the same sentence and know which does what.

I AM A RUNNER because I know what effort feels like, and I embrace it. I know when I'm pushing the limits of my comfort and why I'm doing it. I know that heavy breathing and an accelerated heart rate -things I once avoided- are necessary if I want to be a better runner

I AM A RUNNER because I value and respect my body. It will whisper to me when I've done too much. And if I choose to listen to that whisper, my body won't have to scream in pain later on.

I AM A RUNNER because I am willing to lay in all on the line. I know that every finish line has the potential to lift my spirits to new highs or devastate me, yet I line up anyway.

I AM A RUNNER because I know that despite my best effort, I will always want more from myself. I will always want to know my limits so that I can exceed them.

I AM A RUNNER because I run. Not because I run fast. Not because I run far.

I AM A RUNNER because I say I am. And no one can tell me I'm not. 

Waddle on friends!

- BY JOHN BINGHAM "I AM NOT A JOGGER: I MAY WADDLE WHEN I RUN, BUT I'M RUNNING ALL THE SAME."

Friday, March 16, 2012

Looking back...


Yesterday I took some time to go back to my old blogs and read them. My first blog (Where Is Tigerlilly?) was started in 2006. My goal was to get under 200 lbs... and I looked something like this.. 



I struggled at home with two kids under the age of two. I had just had two serious surgeries and was finally given the all clear to get moving. This blog lasted until 2008 where I ended up looking like this...


where I was weighing in at 193. Exactly where I am at today.

Then I started my second blog... The Next Chapter... which is when I stuck it into high gear and got down to 173 lbs.


So... reading my blogs helped me understand a couple of things. I had a lot of bad days. I started over at least 501 times. I tried everything... but succeeded losing the most weight with running. I love to juice and need to get back to doing that. But most of all... that I have lost this weight before... I know its possible.... I know that I can do it...

Today I am going to rethink my ways. Time to get a game plan...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Trying to find my focus..

I've been stuck, the last month, in a bad place. Not wanting to stay where I am , but not quite caring enough to change what I've been doing. At least not 100%. I will do SO good in the morning... going to my spin class... keeping my food clean and drinking tons of water. Then....

"Squirrel!!"

I lose my focus. Life takes over and I just go with the flow. I eat what is available.. or the easiest (or fastest) to prepare.  I settle with the idea that I will do better 'tomorrow'. But never do.  This has led me nowhere.

My clothes are still tight. My weight is still WAY up there.

I have a group of wonderful girls that support me.... and a dietician who is willing to be there everyday if needed.... and kids who remind me everyday that they need me ... and a husband who tells me that he loves me no matter what I weigh but will also give me what ever I need to get healthy again.

So why can't I get this right? Why am I so wishy-washy??

Part of it is, I'm tired. Tired of counting calories... tired of points... tired of working out... tired of worrying about it all. I've been fighting this for 5 years now.

5 years of beating my weight down into submission. 5 years of worrying about my food. Counting calories and points.

Nobody, including my dietician, is telling me anything I don't already know. I've read hundreds of books... I've been on weight watchers... I've starved myself... and it has all worked to help me lose 70 lbs... (30 of which I have now gained back) I have done Tae Bo, Karate, Boxing, Spinning, Running and Yoga. I've tried P90X, Insanity and Rushfit.  I have even gone to the doctor to get blood work done PRAYING that I had some kind of disease that was causing my weight problem and that it would all be fixed with one pill.

Every morning I cringe when I put on my jeans that used to be so big they fell right off without a belt... only to barely squeeze them on to button them. Pulling over shirts that I loved to wear in comfort but now constantly tug and pull at all day to keep them from bunching around my stomach.

All of this pent up hatred for what I have become and you would think that I would have all the energy and willpower to lose the weight again. But I don't.

Depression crosses my path every now and then. I've taken meds for it in the past, right after my Dad died... but got off of them when I got pregnant the first time. Since then I have managed to keep it away with happy thoughts and exercise. My doctor supports me in my will to never get on meds for it again... but it means keeping myself in check. I have no doubt that I'm battling a low moment right now.

So, to help me get motivated I have joined a challenge. 10 weeks to get in shape. (if you scroll down to my last post you can click on the pic and read all about it!) I'm hoping that it will help me refocus. Here is what some of the challenge is about:

If you choose to participate, we will have four basic goal categories:

  • weight loss goal
  • non-scale goal
  • exercise goal
  • nutrition goal

So... focus, focus, focus

My weight loss goal for 10 weeks is to lose 25 lbs. 

My non-scale goal is to look good enough to wear a two piece bathing suit this summer. 

My exercise goal is to go to the gym 3 days a week. 

My nutrition goal... well, here is the hard one. I'm addicted to food. Being on a diet is like hanging a cocaine bag in front of a drug addict three times a day. Only I HAVE to eat something. Trust me, I've tried the 'no food' thing and it worked... but not in a good way. So... my goal will be, to learn to live with my addiction... .and not give in to it. I will continue to work with my dietician until we find something I can control, live with and succeed with. 

So. Focus. Focus. Focus. 

Warning: I will post 'Before' pics on Monday, March 26th... 

Ready for Summer Challenge


I've been stuck in a rut. Looking forward to this challenge to help me get back on track. Wanna join? There is still time. It starts on Monday, March 26th... so click on the pic above and find out how to sign up!

Friday, February 24, 2012

A visit to the dietician...


Tomorrows battle is won during today's practice. - Samurai maxim


It is amazing what a trip to the dietician can do for you. I think of it like a tune up on a car. Change the oil every 3000 miles and your car is good to go. Go to the dietician every 3000 miles and you learn that you've been putting in the wrong kind of gas. 

I have to admit, I wasn't sure she was going to be a whole lot of help. After all, I've been doing the diet game for 4 years now. I know ALL the rules. I walked into her office and was immediately pointed toward the scale. *warning* This was at 1 p.m. AFTER lunch. I never weight myself in the day, knowing well that I am much heavier. So, with one eye closed I looked at the scale. 

199.2

Wow... way too close to 200 for me. This broke a wall down for me. I needed help. The dietician may be my last hope to keep me from leaving ONEderland. So I sat down, head bowed, and gave my confession. She wrote down the endless list of food that I had eaten yesterday. She listened as I explained that I had lost 70 lbs two years ago.... and was heart broken to see 30 lbs pack back on. I told her about my crazy workout schedule.... and how it hasn't helped. 

She asked me what I drink during the day. Crystal Light. I have always depended on it to help me get in my water for the day. (I hate the taste of plain water) Then she asked what I drank while I was working out. Crystal Light. She looked me in the eye and said... "Do you know how much artificial sweetener you are drinking every day??"

AH HA!! #1

Although it is calorie free... artificial sweetener still has an affect on your body. Apparently it can keep you from losing weight, but more importantly, it makes you crave more foods. It would also explain why my Triglycerides are sky high... even with me working out 5 days a week. 

So... first change will be... no, Crystal Light. Only water from here on out. I am allowed one cup of decaf coffee during the day with 2 packets of Stevia... but that is all. 

This change will be challenging. Especially with my hate for water... but so far I'm taking it one sip at a time. 

The next thing she said was "Your not getting enough protein" 

This was a surprise to me. I thought since I had a huge protein shake every morning that I was getting plenty of protein. Apparently ... not. 

AH HA! #2

Protein is the most important thing to eat... especially when working out as much as I am. Protein heals your muscles. Think of protein as the 'clean' gas. The one that is REALLY expensive and goes in REALLY nice cars!  That is protein. It keeps your engine burning clean!! 

So, I am to focus on eating a protein at every meal and snack. I have to say, this was going to be hard. But she gave me a lot of ideas. For a snack, I could drink a glass of soy milk!  Eat a palm full of almonds!

AH HA! #3

This came when we were talking about snacks. She said that most people associate an empty container as being 'done' eating. To keep me from eating more then 1 serving she suggested pre-sorting them into little one serving ziplock bags. This way when the bag is empty I know that I am done eating. No more!!

Serving size is one of my weaknesses. I now have my scale out to weigh my protein... and will be buying some new measuring cups at Pier 1 today to help me make sure I am being honest with my calories. 

I am also going to be keeping track of my food/calories on www.myfitnesspal.com ... for you people with smart phones, they have an app for that! 

So, all in all, going to the dietician was eye opening. I have a lot of things I need to focus on and change. I started last night and woke up this morning ready to get my day started... with a glass of water. I am NOT going to step on the scale at all. In fact, it will be put in a box in the garage so I'm not even tempted.  I will weigh in again with the dietician in one month to see if my 1500 cal diet is working. The goal is to lose 5-8 lbs by then. 





Monday, February 20, 2012

Another race under my belt!



... and I just signed up for another one in April. :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Anxiety

Does anyone else cry in fear at the thought of going to the doctor?

I had to go to the doctor this past week. I have not been feeling 'right' for some time now and finally gave in to my husbands pleas. I have to say that I have never had a terrible doctor. In fact, I loved my last doctor. He saved my life and my daughters life... twice. I tried to hate him when he gave me the news  that I would have to go down immediately to see an Oncologist.... but its hard to hate the man giving you the bad news when he is also in tears.

Anyway, the point is... its not a personal hate, its a general hate. Fear would be a better word.

So I found a new doc in this new town of ours. She was understanding of my tears and fears. She took her time with me and we talked about all of it. She said everything 'looked' good , but that blood work was needed. So I starved myself for 12 hours and got my blood drawn.

I won't know the results until Tuesday.  I am in a frozen state of anxiety now. Thankfully it is Sunday and I can surround myself with God.




Friday, February 3, 2012

Is this too grey?

My closet can tell you exactly where I am emotionally in my life.... and right now my closet says "BLAH"

Blacks, browns and greys consume my closet. There is a flash of red in one corner screaming to get out... but its being smothered. Like a fire being put out.

My usual style has been bright. Reds, oranges, greens and yellows. Rainbow socks, red flowers in my hair... where have I gone?

I know those colors are still in me.. because I will walk by a store and see something beautifully bright and go "oooooh" but keep walking. Yesterday I went to buy some clothes and what did I get? Khaki pants and a brown sweater. REALLY?

I like the outfit. The sweater is soft and comfy.. the pants fit. But where is my flash of lifesaving color?

Looking back , this has been happening for some months now. Since, well, since my old clothes (the bright ones) quit fitting. I think I have been subconsciously blocking the happiness of color from my closet until I lose this weight.

The funny thing is... I hit my 500 miles today at the gym. In 2.5 months I managed to run/bike/walk 500 miles and this was my prize...


Grey!! LOL

I can't really change a whole lot about my closet right now... but at least I can try and fight my subconscious a little more and when I see that bright red sweater in the window I will buy it!!

At least for now I know that I have a box full of beautiful colors ready for me to wear again... hopefully by spring. How perfect would that be?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

(5) Thursday




I love this. It is the honest truth about what I am going thru.  


Today I am fighting a cold/sore throat... but am questioning if it is bad enough to miss out on my spin class. I'm leaning towards... NO! My Dad used to tell me that working out and sweating was the best thing for a cold. I don't know if this was ever medically proven... but whenever I had a cold/sore throat he made sure I was at the gym 'sweating out the germs'.  Looking back, I never died! 


I talked to my gym coach and I think I know why my weight has not been dropping. I need to stick to my 1200 calories a day... instead of eating more on the days I workout. It makes sense. Todays menu is already counted out and ready to go. As long as I stick to it I should be good! 


Here are some motivational pics from a couple of years ago... I am not close to what I started at here... but knowing that I lost it then gives me the strength to lose it now!



(about 220 lbs)


(about 175 lbs)



Sunday, January 22, 2012

Sunday Stats

Ok... its time to face the facts.

WT: 194

Ht: 5'6"

FP: 30.9%   ..... (Down 4% in 3 weeks)

Neck: 14

Waist: 37

Chest: 40

Hips: 44.5

R Arm: 15.5

R Leg: 26.5

L Arm: 15

L Leg: 26

Saturday, January 21, 2012

(4) Saturday... I got new toys!!!

Ok, so there is nothing more exciting then getting new toys to play with... at any age!

First:

OMRON Fat Loss Monitor


This is the Omron Fat Loss Monitor. I got it for $39 at GNC. This might be something to replace my scale! My Spin teacher tested me about two weeks ago... my body fat was 34.7%. Today when I got home from the store it was 30.3%. I'm super excited. To make it official, I will do my stats tomorrow morning... body fat percentage and measurements. Its time to start tracking all this stuff! If the weight won't go down... then lets watch the inches drop!


Second:



Billy Blanks PT 24/7 DVD Set - As Seen On TV








I did really well with Tae Bo a couple of years ago... and even though I still have those workout DVD's still... I figured I would do better with a new one! I plan on adding this workout to my afternoons. 


So, I am excited to play with my new toys. Better get moving. Look for tomorrows post on my beginning stats... and 'before' pics. :)















Friday, January 20, 2012

(4) Friday

I haven't written all week because there hasn't been much to say. I have put my head down and focused on moving forward. I've been tracking my food everyday..... done an hour of cardio everyday.... and keeping focused.

Today was my last day of my fourth week of this life style change. One month. I feel like I should be doing better then where I am at right now. Although I do see a little change in my body... I don't feel it. My clothes are still tight and the scale has not budged.

I am heading out the door this afternoon to buy a measuring tape.... and a workout DVD.  I love to workout at home and with two kids it is not always possible to get to the gym. I am trying to decide if I want 30 Day Shred... or Tae Bo.

So, here is to a good weekend and a perfect start to week (5)!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

(3) Sunday

Its been a rough weekend. I have broken down into tears more then once. Why?

I have been physically and mentally beaten down. I didn't feel good on friday. I knew that my body was exhausted and that I needed a day off. So I stayed home and cleaned out my closet. I emptied my entire closet except for my workout clothes. Not because I am THAT motivated to workout... but because I have gained 20 lbs in the last year and none of my clothes fit me.... except for the ones that stretch.

That got me realizing how much I have given up. I was so happy at the 170 lbs. I was fitting in a size 9.... I was so happy in all my pictures.... and I could run.

Then... life happened and I let it all go. For FOOD. How stupid is that? To let all that happiness go because I couldn't handle stress without stuffing my face.

That put me in a depression. I cried on hubby's shoulder yesterday morning... so ashamed that I had lost that girl.

This morning I sat down and read my morning blogs. One of my fav's is this girl who has done amazing things with her life and is continuing to strive for better.... On her blog is this video:






This reminded me of my Dad. In fact, I cried because I could close my eyes and hear my Dad telling me "DONT YOU QUIT ON ME!"

More tears. But this time they are strong tears. I'm not going to give up on myself. I am going to get that girl back and I'm going to bust my butt everyday to do it.


And my reward when I hit 170 again?...... THIS!!!




Thursday, January 12, 2012

(3) Thursday

I'm awake... I'm rested... I'm ready!

So, I was checking out My Fitness Pal and was wondering if I am eating too many calories. So far it has me scheduled to eat 1800 a day... but 5 days a week I burn more then 600 calories with my workouts and it adds it to my food. So my calories allowed goes up to 2400. That seems like a lot to me, and although I don't ever eat that many I am still going over my 1800 and I am wondering if that is the reason for me not losing any weight.

For the next week I am going to keep my calories under 1800 and see what happens. :)


Breakfast is over, kids are off getting ready and then it is off to the gym for my spin class! 







Wednesday, January 11, 2012

(3) Wednesday

I am on week 3!

My body feels a little tighter and my endurance is so much better... but to be honest, I am exhausted.

Getting up early to eat breakfast, feed the kids and get us all out the door in time for me to get a run in before my spin/strength class..... then running home to fix lunch and get school started.... and then finally cleaning house/doing laundry, make dinner and get the kids in bed.

Today I am so tired that I actually forgot to take the kids to their workout class. I didn't even think about it until they asked me what day it was. (They LOVE their workout class). Needless to say, I had to apologize to them and promise to make up for it.

I am SO looking forward to hitting my pillow tonight. The only sad thing is, I have to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. I know that this will eventually mellow out a little. My timing will get better... I will get a little more organized...........zzzzzzzzzzz


Saturday, January 7, 2012

(2) Saturday

I need to get a measuring tape. I am seeing some great changes and want the measurements to prove them!!


Today is the last work out day for week 2. Spin class!  


I cannot wait for Hubby's next day off. The girls and I are itching for another trip to the rock wall for some climbing!! 


I'm afraid this is all my fingers have to write today.  



















“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.” 
 Kurt Vonnegut


Friday, January 6, 2012

(2) Friday

(Tae Kwon Do, 16 years old)



Martial arts was always my favorite past time. When I was 13 my dad signed me up for a Tae Kwon Do class. I was 75 lbs over weight and was about to make the transfer from a small private school to an over crowded public high school.  My dad was trying to do all he could to protect me, and by signing me up for the class I became SO much stronger then he will ever know. I dropped the 75 lbs over the summer before my freshman year.

I also became a competitor. I won first place metals for forms and sparring, and even challenged the men in my dojo to spar me. When they refused I went to another school where I was able to spar men and picked up some weaponry too. My fav was the staff.

(Staff form, 26 years old)


Once I was out of high school I quit martial arts. It didn't take long for it to call me back though!

I took a Jui Jitsu class and a Tang Soo Do class.

(sparring in Tang Soo Do 27 yrs old)

We moved across the country and once again I was looking for a way to keep in shape. I joined a boxing gym that trained some of the top UFC fighters. This was one of the best motivators. I trained with women that had actually gone to Thailand to train. I trained with men that were about to go into huge fights.


After a couple of months I was asked to step in the ring and help train one of the girls for a big fight coming up. I was 32... she was 23.  I won't lie. I got my head rattled a couple of times... but it brought me alive to be in the ring again. It felt good to be fighting. It felt good to feel my body respond fast and fearless.

(after the fight 32 years old)

Today I am not doing a martial art. But my mind has gone back to that training mode. I am loving my spin class and my strength class. I am feeling my body respond to the demands my mind is putting on it. I may not be ready to get back in the ring..... yet.... but I am on my way.


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” 
 Oscar Wilde

Thursday, January 5, 2012

(2) Thursday

Yesterday I managed a 2 mile run on the treadmill before going to my strength class. It may have been mistake. All afternoon I felt my knees slowly swelling. I remember this feeling from 4 years ago when I first started running. The only cure was to drop weight.  As soon as I dropped under 180 lbs I was able to run farther, run faster and not have the strange knee swelling afterwards.

Food is great. My calories are right on track. It helps that I am not eating anything processed!

The scale is not budging.... and yes, I am ignoring the suggestions to hide my scale.... but I am ok with it. I know that my food is on track, I know how much I am sweating and that I am sweating that much 5 times a week.  In all honesty, I think it is now more  of a curiosity to see when the numbers will start dropping.

I am going to give my knees a rest today and not do any running... but I do have a spin class to do!!


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

(2) Wednesday

I am super sore this morning. I can tell you that rock wall climbing kills the back muscles. (YAY!)

This morning I thought I would share some of my before/after pics for a little motivation.  I have a  strength class today.... I need a little *umph*










I'm ready... Lets go!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Endurance.... and a little Faith.

I WENT ROCK WALL CLIMBING!!!!

I never thought, in my wildest dreams, I would be able to go rock wall climbing. I am so afraid of heights that I can't even stand on the top step of a step stool. I can't swing with the kids because I get light headed and woozy. The last time I went on a roller coaster I thought I was going to die. I  NEVER ... EVER ... get on a ferris wheel when we go to the carnivals. I am SCARED of heights.

My husband is too, but has somehow managed to over come it for his job. While we lived in Charlotte, NC he made some friends that invited him to go rock climbing with them. He fell in love with it. He tried to get me to go then... but it terrified me to even think about it.

For Christmas I gave him a conditioning book for climbing. The girls looked at it and got interested too. Turns out, there is a climbing gym 10 minutes from here. Today my husband had a day off and decided to take the girls rock wall climbing. Since I don't get to spend much time with him, I thought I would tag along just to take pictures of the girls.

Bailey was the first brave soul. She is as bad as I am... but she went half way up and I was SO proud of her. Amber kept saying she couldn't do it... but I would pick a rock somewhere and challenge her to touch it. She got every rock I picked for her.

After awhile I thought, if my girls can just see someone go all the way to the top... they would do it too!

Well, my husband was on the belay (the safety rope)  which meant I was the only other person left to do it. Somehow I got the courage up and got a harness and some shoes.

In all honesty, I made myself NOT think about what I was about to do and just focused on the task at hand. I hooked up to the safety rope and started climbing. I won't say that I totally rocked and made it to the very top the first try... cuz I didn't. It took me 3 tries before I hit the top ledge... but I HIT THE TOP LEDGE!!!

I have to say that I now understand why my husband fell in love with it... it was fun! Even the ride down, dangling from a single rope, I let a little giggle out.

I won't say I'm over the fear of heights... but I will say that I will no longer let it stop me from having fun with the girls!

OH... and did I mention that right after I hit the top ledge.. Amber did too!!  Bailey was still on the bottom half.. .but she kept at it for a long time after we all gave in from exhaustion. She wants to go back tomorrow.  :)












(2) Tuesday

Today is weigh day...   It was a gain.
Focus: Making this week 100%

The important thing is to not let it get in my head. This morning I have a 2 mile run to do and a Spin class.
I've already put in my food for the day on my calorie counter... so I am ready for an on point day today.



A picture of me at my lowest... right after a workout... I need to find this hot momma again!!!

“I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” 
 Jon Katz