I have been physically and mentally beaten down. I didn't feel good on friday. I knew that my body was exhausted and that I needed a day off. So I stayed home and cleaned out my closet. I emptied my entire closet except for my workout clothes. Not because I am THAT motivated to workout... but because I have gained 20 lbs in the last year and none of my clothes fit me.... except for the ones that stretch.
That got me realizing how much I have given up. I was so happy at the 170 lbs. I was fitting in a size 9.... I was so happy in all my pictures.... and I could run.
Then... life happened and I let it all go. For FOOD. How stupid is that? To let all that happiness go because I couldn't handle stress without stuffing my face.
That put me in a depression. I cried on hubby's shoulder yesterday morning... so ashamed that I had lost that girl.
This morning I sat down and read my morning blogs. One of my fav's is this girl who has done amazing things with her life and is continuing to strive for better.... On her blog is this video:
This reminded me of my Dad. In fact, I cried because I could close my eyes and hear my Dad telling me "DONT YOU QUIT ON ME!"
More tears. But this time they are strong tears. I'm not going to give up on myself. I am going to get that girl back and I'm going to bust my butt everyday to do it.
And my reward when I hit 170 again?...... THIS!!!