(1) Saturday

Laughter is the best medicine... especially when your body is throbbing in pain from a FANTASTIC workout!

There is a group of women at the gym that are amazing. They support each other in every way of their lives. After my strength class yesterday I was invited to coffee with them and I have to say that it was an awesome workout for my face muscles. Lots of laughs! Thanks girls... I hope I can push you to reach your goal as much as you will push me to reach mine!!!

Yesterdays food was on track. I hit 1260 calories and was done. I am supposed to be hitting 1800 calories a day... but it just didn't happen. This is new for me. Usually I would be eating until my head hit the pillow, but today I only ate when I was hungry or when I felt my blood sugar dropping. Food did not consume my every thought of the day. It was a new discovery for me and I hope I can keep it going.

Today is a cardio day and I am going to spare my knees and hop on the elliptical for an hour.

I'm going to leave you with a Chili recipe that I discovered last night.  You can keep it all veggie or add ground beef to thicken it up. Enjoy!

Winter Chili


2 tbsp olive oil
1 large onion, coarsely chopped
3 garlic cloves
1 red bell pepper , diced
2 cups finely chopped cabbage (I bought the pre shredded  coleslaw mix)
1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp chipotle chili powder
1 lb butternut squash, peeled and but into squares
1/4 cup tomato paste
2 cups vegetable broth
1 can (15 oz) kidney beans
1 can (15 oz) chickpeas
1 1/2 tsp coarse salt
1 1/2 cups frozen corn kernels, thawed
avocado
tomato
jalapeño
1 lb ground beef (optional)


1. In a 5 qt pot, heat the oil on medium. Add the onion, garlic, and bell pepper and cook, stirring frequently, until the onion is golden brown and tender, about 10 minutes. 


2. Stir in the cabbage and cook, stirring frequently, until its wilted, about 5 minutes. Add the cocoa powder and chili powder; cook 1 minute Add the squash and tomato paste and cook 1 minute. 


3. Add the broth, beans, chickpeas, and salt and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer, cover, and cook until  the squash is tender, about 30 minutes. Stir in the corn and heat through, about 3 minutes longer. Serve topped with avocado, tomato, and jalapeños. 

(1) Friday

The very first thing I noticed this morning, as I slowly came out of a deep sleep, is my body is SORE.  Not a bad sore... an I've worked hard sore!  I guess you can call me a masochist.... cuz I am loving this feeling. This is the feeling of change.

Last night I felt a little differently. I actually thought about NOT going to my strength class today.. pffft! My mind was trying to talk my body into needing a break... but you know what? It had 8 hours of wonderful sleep. That is break enough!!! (apparently my mind is now quite awake yet to argue this point) I have my Strength class today along with another 1 mile run. Tomorrow is just a cardio day and then I have two days of recovery.  I've worked hard this week and I am not going to wimp out early.

To help me with my calories I've signed up with My Fitness Pal. I used this website a couple of years ago and forgot how helpful it can be! Join up and add me as a friend. My name on there is TigerlillyD.

Totals	2,274	214	95	88
Your Daily Goal	2,589	356	86	97
Remaining	315	142	-9	9
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
	*You've earned 789 extra calories from exercise to

This was yesterdays calorie count. I obviously have some work to do on my food. But its all about playing around with it until you find those perfect meals for me. If you are not sure why my daily calories are so high let me explain it.  My daily goals start out everyday at 1800 .... but if you see at the bottom I earned calories by working out. (789 yesterday) which brought my goal up to 2589. I'm still trying to figure out WHY this happens. I know that you have to fuel your body for these workouts.. but don't you want a calorie deficit at the end of the day??? 


I'm off to start my day. I've got the sound of waves and an umbrella drink in the back of my mind reminding me what I can do if I get this done!! 


“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.”
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

(1) Thursday

My husband knows how much I love the beach. Some of our happiest family moments were at the beaches in North and South Carolina. Growing up my family would take vacations to the beaches down in Mexico.... and I loved it. The smell of coconuts, suntan lotion, salt water and umbrella drinks just takes me to heaven!

So... knowing I was struggling, my husband has given me something to look forward to. If I lose 20 lbs by March 1st he will buy 4 plane tickets to the island of my choice for our summer vacation this year!! This will be no easy feat... but it will be doable!!

Yesterday was painful. I ran 1.75 miles at a slow pace.... but I did it. Then I did a strength class that incorporated 10 miles on the spin bike. My legs have been shaking all day. I was standing in the kitchen and my right leg literally gave out on me for a second. So I know I gave it my all today.

Food has been awesome. I am eating lots of salads and veggies. My cravings for sweets are slowly disappearing. I went grocery shopping today and for a second contemplated buying a sugar free chocolate mousse pie... and then I turned around and walked away. I think there may have been a tear in the corner of my eye... but once I turned the corner I forgot all about it. *sniff*

Today I am doing another run before my spin class. I don't know if my legs are going to hold up..... but I will be looking forward to the indoor pool afterwards!!!

(1) Wednesday

Focus: Just Keep Going!

Yesterday morning I was at the gym early. My plan was to run 1 miles before my spin class. I ran 1.25... but I'm not celebrating just yet. I was proud of myself for actually showing up and doing it... but it was a slap in the face to see how much I had lost since this day....

This picture was taken on the bus the morning of my first half marathon. I was at 170 lbs... and could run a mile without blinking.  I had trained for months for this day... and I crossed the finish line with tears in my eyes.

During yesterdays run I felt like my shoes where made of concrete. It was so hard for me to get my legs moving.  I still remembered the feeling of running mile after mile. I remember the feeling I would get when my legs would stop hurting and I could just run and not think about it.... or anything.  Having to start all over again was a harsh reality.

It was hard for me to see how much I had let myself go... but it also gave me a kick in the butt. I am motivated now to get that girl back.

(I swear he isn't drunk.... just one of those guys who you can never get a normal picture of! Gotta love him)

I found this picture.... and remembered how good I felt that night.

The motivation carried on to my Spin class and I got 22.1 miles in! My legs are killing me this morning, but I've got to get up and do another run this morning.... and a strength class. I'm ready!

“Everything you can imagine is real.” 
― Pablo Picasso

(1) Tuesday

Focus: Getting in a great workout... and water!

Yesterday went well. I did have one small piece of Razzelberry pie... but considering I stopped at one piece and actually left a slice in the fridge last night... well, it rocks. Don't get me wrong... I had a fork to that pie in the pan but got hit with a sudden question. Am I hungry?? I wasn't... at all. In fact, I was feeling a little sick. I took the fork out of the pie and put the pie in the fridge for my husband to eat later. (which he didn't, but I might just foil it up and make him take it to work with him today) When I did get the urge to snack I grabbed an orange... and it satisfied me just fine!

Today is a workout day. I am feeling a little bit anxious about adding my 1 mile run.... but I know I can do it. Sometimes I think my lazy bone gets in the way :)  I am going to do it before my spin class... cuz I know after spin class my legs are too shaky and I'm usually nauseaus.

I'm excited to get back into my old running shoes.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. 
Delicious Ambiguity.” 
― Gilda Radner

(1) Monday

Week 1
Wt: 192.4
Focus: Food and Water


I woke up this morning and made sure I was in the right mindset for the day. How? By closing my eyes again and remembering all the reasons I need to do this. By picturing me looking great in my favorite jeans. By remembering that I already did this once... it IS possible and I CAN do it. This week will be the hardest and I need to make sure that everyday I am ready to meet it head on.

Today I am just focusing on eating slowly and within my calories. I will drink my 8 glasses of water and take my multivitamin.  The rest of the week looks like this:

Tuesday: Spin class (1 hr) + 1 mile run
Wednesdsay: Strength class ( 1 hr) +1 mile run
Thursday: Spin class + 1 mile run
Friday: Strength class + 1 mile run
Saturday: Cardio (1 hr)

I have never had a problem with my workouts. I can kick my own butt... but prefer the classes where someone else does the yelling.  I am adding the 1 mile run because I know that running put me in shape last time and I want to get it back again. Each week... for the next 6 weeks... I will be adding 1 mile to my run. Maybe I can find a 10K to run at the end of those 6 weeks!!



“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

Colorado Sunshine

It takes a lot to start over again and again and again... but I think I have finally realized that that is what life is about. My freshman year of high school my Dad told me that it was my first lesson in life. You start at the bottom .. work your way up to the top (graduating high school 4 years later)... only to find yourself at the bottom of a whole new world (college or the workforce). It was a good lesson to learn. In my life I have never been scared to start at the bottom again and again. In fact, I saw it as a challenge. It helped me thru many of the challenges in life. But this...

To give you a little history: Five years ago I started a journey to lose weight. At 225 lbs I hated every inch of me. I had been thru two pregnancies, two major surgeries and battled the bulge my whole life (except for a brief time in high school where I actually thought I had the perfect body).

It took me 2 years to lose 50 lbs.... bringing me to my lowest of 173 lbs.  I ran a couple of 5K's, a 10K and even a half marathon, hanging all my numbers and trophies on the wall.  I was fitting in clothes and looking great. Then...

Well, life happens. I don't want to blame anything for my lack of self control. It may have been my fault... and maybe I need to blame myself in order to come to terms with the fact that I gained 20 lbs back... but I just want to state the obvious and move on. I gained 20 lbs. I am 191 lbs... again.  Now, to move on.

Do I want to be skinny? No... yes... wait. I want to be healthy.. and not the chubby cheeks healthy. I want to be the Angelina Jolie as the tomb raider healthy. The kind of healthy that would allow me to feel good in my clothes while I run a couple of miles on a dirt path. Or where I feel good enough to wear shorts on the bike ride with my husband.

I know that a lot of people think that losing weight is just a matter of eating right and working out. Well, its the truth... unless you have an eating problem. I am addicted to food. It is something that has followed me my whole life. Eating as much as I can... when I can... even if it means hiding in the bathroom or waiting for everyone to leave so I can raid the fridge. How I lost 50 lbs the first time around has actually baffled me. I worked hard at the gym and on the track. I starved myself.... I did the liquid diet for months.

The best thing for me was being able to blog about my journey every day. My life has been unstable for the last 2 years... but it has settled now and I am ready to do this... again.  I know that my journey will not be easy. I will not magically lose all the weight in 3 months.... I WILL cheat.... I WILL cry... I WILL want to give up.... but I WONT. There are more reasons to succeed this time then to give up.

Tomorrow I will be a freshman again. I will start at the bottom..... again.